What is it about doing a job you don't enjoy that makes you question yourself and your direction?
Really? Why do I constantly walk around in a cloud of questions; Who am I? Where am I going? Is this really what I want to be doing?
I just might be having a quarter-life crisis.
I don't like the idea that I'm not in control. It's just not how I like to be. So I keep asking these questions, hoping that maybe this time I'll have an answer. I never do.
I've started working on my handwriting, because it's pretty bad. I've re-thought the way I express my self, in my songwriting and here in my blog. Maybe that's a good start? I dunno.
Some days I feel like God is the God of the Enlightenment. He made things and then just let them go. But then I hear about My Nephew Curtis getting better and my heart leaps. Or I see a movie like Amazing grace and my heart just breaks for people who are "no longer owned by God, but by a man" and I know that He didn't just wind up the clock, he's intimately involved.
Then why can't I hear him? Why won't he speak? Did I do something to drive him away?
One of the things that I believe about God is that he's bigger than my questions, and he even invites them when the answers bring me closer.
I guess I'm just waiting on some answers.