So today I met with Jeremy Simpson to talk about, well, stuff.
We spoke about the upcoming, multi-church In-Rush event in a few weeks. We touched on some of Fellowship's sound system issues.
But he asked me what I intended to do in the future. My answer was along the lines of "I'm in a place where I'm learning that God's will for me is different than what I think it is. So right now I'm just waiting and praying."
It was the first time in a while I've been able to answer that question with an answer and not just mumbling and the word 'prayer'.
Then he said that he understood and he told me his story. It was very good for a number of reasons, mostly because I don't have a lot of contact with people who have been in the same boat.
As he was sharing his story, it dawned on me; I'm being pastored. He's ministering to me and I'm being ministered to. It was an important moment for me.
Until today I had thought I knew what it was like to pour yourself into other people. I guess I just didn't get it. I didn't realize that this life requires a certain amount of sacrifice, on my part. Not necessarily of my time, or money, or family, but of myself, my history, my dreams and desires.
(I may have just offended the comma police.)
He also invited me to join a network of area worship leaders that gathers once a month. This blew me away. Completely.
I just blogged a week ago about feeling like I don't belong in the church, and now I'm invited into something. Something with a purpose and a reason and a common thread. A few, really.
All in all, I'm feeling much more confident of my direction and calling than I was.