I have this nagging feeling that something about the church isn't right. Not the church I go to, but the Church, Capitol 'C'. The Whole thing.
I read this book about why men hate church and I find myself agreeing with the author. The church as we know it has grown feminine. So now when I'm planning worship, I shoot for 'bold' and 'strong,' rather than 'nice' and 'worshipful'. But that's not it.
When I look at the new testament, the Church is a group of people who have completely thrown away their old lives and anything to do with them, to follow Christ. They live together communally, they love the unlovable, and we're still obsessed with their leader 2000 years later. There's no written record of them getting together once a week to 're-fill their Jesus tank'.
I have a 150 Sq ft office, a laptop, and a church cellphone. All for the point of making sure the tank gets filled up. Something about it just feels wrong.
I just can't reconcile the 2.
I'm also not sure that I want to.
I can't wear the things I wear the rest of the week. I can't say the things I say the rest of the week, because even though certain words aren't cuss words they're not appropriate.
The has become very capitalist. Not that it's become a business (although they're out there) but that we've taken what was a very rough, wild preacher who ran into the Temple with a whip and drove people out and we've put him into a box so he can be sold to the most amount of people.
The thing is that this madman will win followers the way he is. He came to seek and save the lost and he will find them, our packaging won't change a thing about that.
It will change us though. Rather than become more like the man who confounded the Pharisees, we've become the men that bore the masses. Me included, I'm bored.
I'm tired of getting up on a Sunday for 4 songs and a 30 minute sermon on vision statements.
This is not a resignation, nor is it a white flag. I'm simply voicing a truth that few dare to breathe.
God so loves the church that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.
Derek Webb said it best when he sang (from Christ's Perspective)
"i have come with one purpose to capture for myself a bride
by my life she is lovely by my death she’s justified
‘cause i haven’t come for only you
but for my people to pursue
you cannot care for me with no regard for her
if you love me you will love the church"
God give me heart that beats life, and eyes to see it around me.