I'm in a strange place right now.
Not my house.
I think of myself as a 'Worship Pastor', because that's what I am. What I want to be anyway. Right now I'm an 'Interim Worship Pastor' which means that they like me, but they don't want to hire me. Not long term.
I know I'm young, and supposedly inexperienced, but I love doing it and it's kinda frustrating to watch the church I'm pouring my sweat, time and self into 'shop around' when I'm under their nose the whole time.
In their defense I probably wouldn't hire me either. I'm young and kinda inexperienced.
Yesterday I hung out with our Pastor candidate. He wants my job, which means I will be down to one job (happy) and one income (sad). Worst of all, I'll probably be back to doubting myself, my gifts, and listening to the lies that say I'm unlovable.
It is different this time. I've grown a lot since the last time, so I don't get frustrated so easy. Also I've grown a lot, at FPCC, so I'm not really inclined to leave. This gives me more reasons to just get over it.
The other thing is that I like the guy. We don't have everything in common but we do share enough interests that conversation is easy.
Long story short; I like him and I hope he comes to FPCC and does really well. I'm just not ecstatic about it.