7.04.2008

A Passionate Heart

I Miss Pastor Greg.

Whenever I'm free I attend a monthly luncheon/networking/payer meeting of local worship leaders, here in Muskegon. There's no name, no clever marketing, just people who Love Jesus and tell his story through music. Wednesday, I went for the 2nd time in 5 months. During our lunch, Jeremy asked Pastor Greg to share with us.

Now Greg didn't share anything I haven't heard him speak on before. When you work with a guy for 8 months, you find out what he's passionate about. It wasn't so much what he was saying it was how his passion for it came across. He spoke of the Kingdom and how Muskegon does not look like the Kingdom. There's poverty, hunger, and a huge segregated community.

It's been a long time since I've heard Greg preach. Since I've spent any time with him, for that matter. When I left Fellowship, it was with a pain and an ache in my heart. It took a while before I could forgive them. Greg being the Lead Pastor, in my head anyway, got a lot of the blame for my leaving. That was wrong. I'm sorry.

My journey over the last year has been very turbulent, and I am worse for the wear. It has stretched my faith, and to a large extent, spoiled my passion. I deeply regret that.

All the anger and frustration boiled in my belly, much like a flame, but this flame only puts out passion for the cross. It takes life. The fire I used to have gave life. I led worship because I couldn't do anything else. I may have been naieve, but I sang from the depths of my heart.

I'm learning how to dig deep again. I'm remembering the scripture that says "I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first." (Rev 2)

I'm tired of being cold. Tired of being weak. Tired of being worn. I want to love like I first loved. When redemption was fresh on my lips.

Greg, I want your passionate heart.

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