staring down the barrel of a welcomed gun

So, I heard the news today. We got our 10 warning, which actually means we have 11 days left (apparently liquidators count differently).

I got to work and opened my email. It was right there, bold as sin "This is your 10 day warning. Close date = March 8"

It sorta changes the flow of the whole morning. I felt a real freedom, which seems strange. Why would losing my job release my stress?

I really lost my job in January, I've been doing something else since then. I used to lead my team, by pouring myself into them, by being brutally honest about myself and getting involved in their lives. I lead by example and they in turn followed anywhere I asked them to go. That all stopped when we went from being the best team in the district to 'going out of business'.

Ever since then I've watched my co-workers disintegrate. Some of them got bitter, some got lazy, some became drunks. Some became belligerent or angry. Something died in my building on January 16.

It's really hard to have and show hope when no one's interested. I try to be the voice of an older brother to the young girl who makes bad decisions about money and men. I try to be the voice of a son to an older woman who just wants it to end. I try to be the voice of authority to the young guys who think the whole thing is a joke and plan to collect unemployment as long as they can. It's getting hard because they lost their jobs the same day I did and they died inside too.
I'm tired of watching the people I've come to love and respect slowly give up on themselves.

Since I've already lost my job and my role in my store, March 8 can't come soon enough.

By the way, you can read the Red-Headed Hottie's POV here.

1 comment:

bananapeelblog said...

You've made a difference even if you don't see it now. I still do. And they will remember you, for sure.